From silence to strength: UMKC alumni publishes raw memoir of sexual assault

 Skyler Boschen, a former University of Missouri-Kansas City student and clinical therapist, is releasing a memoir detailing her experiences as a sexual assault survivor and her path to advocacy.

  “I never wanted to write my story,” Boschen said. “Nothing about that sounded appealing to me, but now it’s blossomed into this book that is getting published.”

  Boschen said that her memoir covers the raw and difficult experiences she faced as a survivor. 

  “My entire story is very raw,” she said. “My memoir is very, very honest and vulnerable. I’ve debated taking different sections out entirely. Including some aspects was very hard.”

  Born in Boston, Massachusetts, Boschen moved to Kansas City, Missouri, when she was 11. She attended UMKC and later earned her master’s in social work from Florida Atlantic University.

  Boschen said her journey to advocacy began after a  sexual assault during her second semester at UMKC.

  “Honestly, I hadn’t really thought much about doing advocacy at all until after my rape at UMKC,” she said. “I was hearing other survivor stories and just getting so angry with the way that victims are treated, and so that just sparked my love for advocacy.”

  Her experiences before UMKC included years of abuse and sextortion in high school.

  “I was getting daily threats, and was also being stalked by another person at my school,” Boschen said. “It was just so dehumanizing, it felt like there was no way I was going to get any sort of justice.”

  “92 days of my life where I was sexstorted every single day, multiple times a day, threatened and stalked. Being able to look him in the face and say, ‘everyone knows what you did’ was definitely a game changer for me.”

  After the assault at UMKC, Boschen said rumours and victim-blaming quickly spread on campus.

  “Within a day, I had people whispering about me, pointing at me, laughing, calling me names. It got to the point where I was staying barricaded in my bedroom for hours on end,” said Boschen. “It got to the point where I was like, I’m not safe here. Then it was a whole other wave of people being angry with me for accusing him.”

  Boschen said the lack of guidance from the university made reporting and seeking help especially difficult.

  “There’s no roadmap for ‘what do I do when I get raped.’ There was no one guiding me through the exact steps, and it was really just me on my computer trying to figure out what I am supposed to do.”

  “Having to wait a week and a half for me to even get a Title IX interview was extremely frustrating,” she said. “I just didn’t want anyone else to go through what I went through.”

  Her activism began with relaunching a student club. 

  “That’s really why I restarted that club on campus, Roos Against Violence Everywhere,” she said. “I felt like so many people had shut me up my whole life, and being able to use my voice was really how I was able to heal.

  Boschen’s memoir also aims to inspire other survivors.

  “You can do this too,” she said. “It sucks that this is something we even have to think about, but it’s our reality. We’re our own biggest saviors. If you’re not honoring yourself, then you’re not honoring anyone else either.”

  She hopes her story will help UMKC strengthen campus safety policies.

  “If anyone is found responsible of sexual assault or rape, they should immediately be expelled,” Boschen said. “My rapist was able to return after a year and half. That’s such a crazy thing to go through. Knowing he was found responsible, and just waiting to see if he comes back to campus.”

  Boschen also urged students to act when witnessing harm.

  “It’s never a bad thing to report an incident that you see that you know is wrong,” she said. “What’s bad is if you don’t do anything. Wouldn’t you want someone else to do that for you?”

  Looking ahead, Boschen hopes the memoir will have a broader impact.

  “I hope that it moves people, and that it has an effect on the community,” she said. “I hope that people can see this and feel like there is more after darkness.”

  Boschen’s memoir, “Flickering Lights: A Memoir of Rebuilding A Shattered Past,” coming out will be available on her website on Jan 25. 2026.

 For any UMKC students struggling, there are resources on campus. Resources, Intervention, Support and Education (RISE) offers confidential support services to all UMKC students and employees who are victims and survivors of sexual assault and sexual violence, gender-based violence, stalking and relationship abuse.