Q1: Dear Phoenix,
How can I be more confident? How do you battle insecurities? How do I learn to love my body?
Everyone endlessly battles insecurities. Even the most confident people struggle with personal insecurities, but they have learned to accept and work with what they have.
Many would assume since I get on stage and make myself vulnerable in front of hundreds of people, I am confident and have overcome my insecurities. It took me a long, grueling time to build my confidence, and I still have several insecurities.
One of the biggest steps I took was to be conscious of when I compared myself to other people. I believed I was inferior to others through irrational comparison, and I know I am not the only one.
So many fabulous people have turned on the TV or looked at a magazine’s cover and jealously said, “He/she is so pretty. I wish I was that attractive.” So many beautiful people look in the mirror and think they see Shrek staring back because they cannot see their own beauty.
You are unique. You are beautiful. Stop comparing your body to models in Vogue or GQ. They have set a standard of superficial “beauty” which people falsely worship.
If you are uncomfortable with your weight, adopt a new diet and exercise routine, but love yourself the entire way through and do not do it for someone else. I have told many people, “Just because I cannot see your bones, does not mean you are fat.” Meat may cover your bones, but not your personality. Quality people will be friends with you for your personality while shallow, unimportant people will be your acquaintances for your appearance.
Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself, “I am beautiful.” Learning to love you is the first step to confidence.
Surround yourself with positivity. Dance around your house to uplifting music like Disney songs, Mika, or whatever puts a smile on your face. If there are certain people who make you feel insecure, remove them from your life. Surround yourself with people who love you for you rather than trying to change yourself for someone else.
I love you for you, and you should too.
Q2: Dear Phoenix,
What are some recommendations for clever, unique date nights?
Do something thrilling and exciting. While cheap dinner followed by an overpriced movie at a filthy theater is extremely romantic, nothing makes someone hold on tighter than a haunted house. No time for awkward “should I hold his/her hand,” there is a zombie behind the corner about to pop out.
Go to an amusement park and ride the roller coasters. Amusement parks provide quality bonding time during the wait in lines while counting pieces of gum under the rails, and offers the privilege of seeing your significant other vulnerably screaming for his or her dear life.
If these ideas are outside of your budget, go on a scavenger hunt around the city. Create your own or find one online. Channeling your obnoxious inner child may provide loads of laughter and excitement for the evening.
Every couple shares different values and enjoys different activities. Spontaneity, creativity and sincerity the keys to a fun date night for any couple.
Toodles for now,
Questions may be submitted by email at email@example.com