PDA: Private displays of affection only, please

Mal Hartigan

Remember that annoying couple in high school that would fawn over each other after every class and stare longingly into each other’s eyes as if they’d never see each other again? Remember how sometimes they’d even lock lips and tongue-lasso in the middle of the hallway when you were attempting to get to class on time? If you don’t, consider yourself fortunate.

I understand teenage angst and romance. Who doesn’t? It’s part of being a teenager just as much as clashing with parents, defying authority, and cutting class. However, just because a fellow student is madlysickeninglydisgustingly in love with their boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t mean I’m interested in watching a slobbery precursor to the unbuttoning of jeans on my way to class. Congratulations on being sexually savvy enough to find a momentary significant other, but I confess I’m not very excited for you when you consistently engage in PDA.

A couple holding hands in public is absolutely adorable and a shy, reserved sign of affection. It also seems to signify long-term commitment. No one should consider a hug or a peck in public a negative feat either, because they are often used as a friendly gestures, but when a couple acknowledges their communal surroundings and still insists to display overtly sexual interaction, it becomes a nuisance to everyone else.

If you enjoy foreplay, that’s great. Join the crowd. But foreplay doesn’t need to be a public spectacle. I understand if you have a smokin’ hot girlfriend with a rockin’ bod and you can’t keep your hands off of her, but it should be an activity reserved for you as a couple in your own bedroom. I find my girlfriend attractive, but I don’t need to prove it to anyone by fondling her in public.

I understand if you’re in love and it’s overwhelming, but consider the idea that not everyone is intrigued when catching a glimpse of your sloppy tongue action on the way to class. Limit it to the bedroom, you silly people!

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