When life kicks your ass

Katie Vahsholtz

Oh, life. It’s such a mystery, and who knows why half of the things, either good or bad, happen.

At times it’s a series of ups and downs, then for a while everything’s smooth sailing—something you’d love to get used to.

I’m not mad at “life.” It’s certainly a learning experience, but it sometimes offers more than I would like to know. All that being said, life has dealt some pretty bizarre hands over the past year, which at times left me wondering, “Why me? Really, again?!”

The hardest year of my life is taking place before my eyes. Life, it seems, is attempting to kick my ass every now and then.

And at times it has, and it has hard.

From dealing with nearly losing a family member to depression, to moving away from home, to being completely and utterly broke, to realizing what it feels like to rely solely on my feet for transportation, the past several months have been filled with events that have instilled in me a sort of apprehension about what’s next to come.

It is difficult to talk about family problems, or any problems for that matter, especially when your audience is almost completely unknown. Yet this article is not meant to lay it all on the line and show the world the how devastatingly dysfunctional my loving family and my wonderful life are.

No, instead it is meant to clear something up for myself.

Sometimes we need a little motivation, a nudge, or at least something to reassure us.

Here, I attempt to reassure myself.

Things are difficult and sometimes they flat out suck.

Sometimes the most difficult part is trying to remember, or even trying to believe, that everything truly will be okay.

It is easy to fall into a rut of negativity, especially if you’re a cynical, negative person by nature.

Yet there are always those moments, even on the worst of days, where there is the realization that life is great.

Most recently, the winter blues were hitting me hard. The recent warm weather, that teasing taste of what’s soon to come with spring, has become more inspiring and more reassuring than I can ever remember.

I guess it takes a hard year to make you realize how great, how pure, how just plain okay life both is and can be.

In spite of spring’s oncoming grandeur, I don’t expect all of my problems to simply melt away with the snow and I don’t even necessarily want them to.

This year has been the hardest, but it’s also been the most exciting and opportunistic year of my life.

I’ve learned a lot and I’ve stressed even more.

I’ve begun to realize just how brave and how keenly beautiful both my loved ones and even some strangers can be.

It takes so much to be able to pick yourself up when life keeps trying to kick your still aching ass.

It’s still scary, and probably always will be, when those unbelievable and terrible events take place.

But at this point, I’m beginning to understand that I truly will survive. I am learning to look to my loved ones and see what they’ve overcome and what they’re still overcoming and try to pull it together for myself.

After that, the budding of trees seems just a little bit phenomenal.

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