I’d like to get fresh, too

Nicole Bomgardner

Nikki Bomgardner

While writing my mini-bio for our website, www.unews.com (shameless plug, I know), I’m forced to think about something there just isn’t time for: me.

Yes, I was a gymnast (emphasis on the was), I’m an avid thrill-seeker (cliff diving is next), have taken more cruises in one year than all the people I know put together, just recently discovered a love of Nascar and take pole-dancing exercise classes when I can keep my eyeballs open long enough for my thighs to squeeze the pole. Blah, blah, blah.

My life is jam-packed 24/7. Between work, family and school, there is exactly 1.23 hours left in the week just for me.

So I take that 1.23 hours and put it in a little jar on my dresser and watch it accumulate.

It’s accumulating because: 1.) What the heck am I gonna do with only 1.23 hours per week left over? Sit on the couch, zombified, trying to figure out what to do? 2.) Jan. 1, Carnival Freedom, including Ft. Lauderdale, five Virgin island ports-of-call and more cliff diving and zip-lining than any one crazy girl could possibly want.

Anywho, I also realized I’m as non-traditional as they come.

I’m a full-time commuter student, single parent working two jobs and will graduate in May with my first bachelor’s degree, after the age of 22. OK fine, after the age of 30.

So when I come to school and hear these little 17 and 18 year-old freshmen whining about their miserable little lives, I want to vomit.

You have to walk two blocks to the Student Union from your dorm your parents probably furnished for you instead of driving because you can’t find a parking spot? Are you kidding?

And you can’t pull your lazy, “freshman 15” lb heavier carcass out of bed and walk to class MWF for a whole stinking 50 minutes each day because you were up playing Xbox all night? Cry me a friggin’ river.

Can I be a teenage freshman again for just one glorious, stress-free day please?

I will gladly swap $1,200 housing/shelter cost for maintenance-free, bill-free dorm life.

I often daydream about what it would be like to get a full night’s sleep. No vomiting child up all night with the stomach flu, knowing I have to be up at 6 a.m. for an 8 a.m. class I can’t miss or be late for, God forbid.

And you little freshmen may not know what you want to be when you grow up, but you have a whole four years to figure it out, get it wrong and then figure it out all over again with little to no responsibility plaguing you. Cherish it.

Learn from my mistakes. Don’t tie yourself down to the first dude walking by with light eyes giving you the time of day.

Don’t stay in bed when you signed up for a 9 a.m. class. And DON’T waste this time you have.

Stay single! Focus on school! And stop whining.

Seize this opportunity to gain your education. I thank God every day for my blessings, but it sure would have been a lot easier getting my education with just me, myself and I to worry about.

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